What should i do?

My parent wanted me to marry a guy who is a foreigner and a maniac. He is turning 27 and im 19. he use toys. \when he wanted to have with. I refuse it. He is the one giving support to my family. I can't even refuse it. I love my family. When i had ******** his is too big for me i ca,t even hold it bec/ he has 8 inches . |And im still a virgin. WHat should i do to make him enjoy doing with me. Did a virgin girl cry when they had for the first time. Please help me. Im confuse. he too tall for me he can grab anytime he wanted?