Having mother in law problems?

so me and my boyfriend live together in his moms house, she doesnt live here she lives with her husband in there own house. but she still pays half the rent because her other daughter (my sister in law) stays here also. and my mother in-law comes here EVERYDAY to ...... i dont know what she does here i guess do stuff in her old room. (cuz she still has her old room) well anyway shes always tellin me do this do that. and in a rude way. i mean she cant say "can you" or "please" or something? i mean she will wake me up in the morning just to get my boyfriend (her sons) jacket from the living room.!!! how crazy is that. and she doesnt ask she demands. and when her daughter leaves her stuff all over the place she dont tell her ANYTHING! and today my mother in law realy pissed me off! so my boyfriend had a little get together with his cousins last night, and they made a big mess in the kitchen. so when me and my boyfriend walk in the door this morning from work she goes " you and Bianca clean up that damn kitchen, thats a damn shame" (im bianca) in a rude way. and my boyfriend dont even say anything to stick up for me! or think anything was wrong with what she said. so im there cleaning up after THERE mess and hes just walkin around lookin out the window. and i dont know what to do anymore, if i say something its going to turn ugly. and i wish i can say something without making my boyfriend mad. even though he pisses me off! and just to mention today he told me im always complaining. why doesnt he tell his mom that! why cant he treat me with the same respect he does with her! and i realy want to move out but our 4 year anniv is on 10 days.. im realy confused on what to do but i cant keep having her talk to me this way. my own mother dont even talk to me this way. any advise????